The men I know and the man I don’t…

The men I know:

I have a lot of guy friends. And some of them happen to be really close. The bull shit you’ve heard that a guy and girl cannot be ‘just friends’ is just that – bull shit. Anyway, the point is something else; I’ll get to it in a while. For as long as I’ve known these guys, I’ve never looked at them as ‘guys’ or ‘men’. I mean, I never thought of them as possessing an overlarge head on their shoulders, none of them has EVER put me down, they have handled me at my worst, pampered me at times, they have reprimanded me at occasions and taken me for a smoke/ booze with them at others.

The universe seems to be changing from where I see it (and I’ll safely say that some of my girl friends have noticed it too.) There is a suggestive sort of modification in the air. A shift in paradigm, a re-alignment of perceptions and an alteration in the planet I seem to have been living in. The shift is that now, at this point in MY life, I’ve come to notice that guys are what guys are made to be, by the media, by WOMEN (boy, that’s a different esoteric species I must tell you) and by those more experienced than I am. They are not just the friends that you hang out with, they are MEN. They are from Mars. They have an ego. They cannot handle criticism. They tend to think they are superior. And they think that they are the center of the universe. Apparently, that’s what makes a man. I’m sure there are nicer things that make a man, but then again, what makes you think anyone is focusing on the nicer things nowadays. The point is, I’m a little zapped because none of my close guy friends have exhibited these traits in my presence till now (and I’m sure they never will.)

Sadly, I’ve noticed these traits in some men I’ve met on and off too. Some of them cannot, I repeat, cannot take a woman who has an opinion that collides with theirs. (If you’re a guy, oops, ‘man’ reading this, chances are that you disagree with me at this very moment. That’s it; I’ve just proved myself right!)

I’ve noticed that even if they are wrong, they never admit it. (You’re not agreeing with me again, are you?) They just cannot take it that they have to stop and reconsider. I guess this is what goes in their head, “I’m a man and I’ve got it all right.” Yes my darling, you have. And so on and so forth (This post isn’t about male bashing by the way.)

So it’s just that I’m looking at the opposite sex in a different light. I had the opinion that men are as accommodative as my guy friends are, and they are as tolerant towards my shortcomings, as I am to theirs. But, it turns out that the male community has no idea that there is a word such as ‘shortcoming’, which can be used with reference to them. Though, I would like to hope that I’m “oh so wrong”.

The man I don’t:

I happened to read a post somewhere. It was a post that requires you to list down 8 things you want in your partner and then tag your friends in it so that they can do the same. I was mulling over it in my bus yesterday, and I mentally made a list of some ‘wants’ and ‘don’t-wants’ in my man. By the end of my rumination, I surmised; boy, this is a very deceptive thing to do, because when we girls think, our reins are uncontrolled! We want the moon and the stars and a man that will take us that far. I told myself, “Honey, it’s so not possible to have a man like that.” But then again, I have no misconceptions about my future relationship (if there is destined to be one). I know it’s going to require work and I know it’s going to be rough, with a lot of smooth patches to cushion the bumpy ride. On that positive note, here are the 8 qualities I’d like my man to have:

One:
He should have an athletic body. (Yeah, I know, you’re thinking: there she goes, but what the heck, this is my list!) He should be taller than me and have an athletic body.

Two:
He should be honest. Honest! I cannot stand treachery in any form. Just cannot.

Three:
He should respect women. RESPECT. No wife-abusing, wife-beating will be tolerated at all.

Four:
He should NOT have a short temper. Yes, he should have a temper. But he should not be short tempered.

Five to Eight:
He should be better than me at everything. Everything. Because I want to look up to my man.

And that is all I want!

Not too much, eh? 😉

– Sameen

P.S: My guy friends are the best MEN I know. I am sure of that.