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Yesterday, I took myself to the movies. I have always enjoyed partaking in my hobbies alone, but not exclusively. If I have company, I will go along, but if I don’t, I am not averse to going out by myself. In fact, I enjoy it. I remember watching The Revenant alone and felt such a powerful gush of emotions that belonged only to me. One of my fondest memories is having orange tea on the pavement of a small cafe in Cappadocia. I have also attended Biswa’s stand up comedy solo. I’ve attended literary festivals at Mehboob studios alone. I’ve also done all of these things with friends or exes.
I enjoy taking in experiences and I am not particular whether it be with others or on my own. I remember when I was new to the department I shifted to 2.5 years ago, there was a conversation about travel and I said that I had seen many places alone. One of my new colleagues retorted that it wasn’t the flex I thought it was and laughed at me. It kind of stuck with me and I was hurt by that comment. I realised that that’s how people see me as a single woman – alone, and someone who has no one to travel with. Until then, I had never let it bother me. I always considered solo travel as one of my favourite gifts I’ve given to myself. But small incidents like these have chipped away some of my self-esteem (as I mentioned on Day One). So, when I returned from the movies yesterday, I was sad thinking of that person who viewed me as someone who had to experience things alone because no one had married me yet.
The movie also made me sad. I saw The Wild Robot because some people I follow online said it was a great pick-me-up movie and it was playing very close by my place. While the animation is great (most animation these days is fantastic) and the storyline is cute-sy, I was quite sad when I saw what Roz witnessed when Universal Dynamics sent a ship to bring him back to the factory. I was disappointed to see that even in an animated movie, set far away into the future, humans are not the redeeming grace, they’re causing destruction. In the entire movie, the robot is the moral voice of reason. I am not sure, I understand this trend fully as it also happens in the book I recently read — A Psalm for the Wild Built — and have written about on the Bookhad blog. Why are robots who come into consciousness described as wiser and more empathetic than humans? What kind of a foreboding is this?
I walked back home thinking about how someone who didn’t even know me had managed to taint my solitary activities by feeling sorry for me. Even against my own will, for I had gone to the movie with much excitement and enthusiasm, I felt sorry for myself. While walking home, I saw all the trash people had thrown away carelessly on the road. It reminded me of the day I was walking on the footpath when a man threw a plastic bottle full of water just in front of me before getting into his car. I tapped on the window and asked him to pick it up, which he obviously refused. This is the kind of cavalier cruelty people have towards their surroundings. I suppose it makes sense for the robots to have empathy, now doesn’t it?
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One of my friends is also doing this 14 Day Challenge and you can find her blog here.
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