In the In-Between

One morning last week, I was looking forward to working from home. I thought that I would gather the pockets of time left over for myself and do something I enjoy — read a book, watch a show, or start writing my new essay. However, due to the cloudy, grey downpour all day, I gave in to watching make up videos, laziness, and skimming through the new books I downloaded.

In the last few weeks, I was captivated by the roller coaster ending of a fantasy novel I was reading, and finishing it made me feel a little lost. The Will of the Many was a great read on most counts. After it ended, i asked myself — what was I supposed to do with all my time now? You know that feeling where you come out of a great novel or a TV show and wonder, what now? That.

While I was between books last few days, I was trying to keep my spirits up under greyed out skies, and limiting my social media intake (and yes, sticking to the app limits that I have set). There always seems so much to do just to get by in the world we live in. I suppose social media gave us this life where we eat our protein, eat a whole bunch of seeds (chia being the most popular of them all), engage in capitalism disguised as self-care, and rage against an antagonist of our choosing based on our algorithm.

I find that conversations with friends seem to be about how much we’re doing, and still feeling like we’re falling short. Perhaps the Internet has made us feel like there’s always so much to do, all the time. I wonder if social media didn’t hand us this yardstick would we feel sufficient?

The rains continue to pour and gather in my city; and I continue to feel slow, in need of warmth, and reaching for sweet, sweet sleep. After some searching and scouting, I have found myself a new book. I also bought three flowering plants as well as planted the flower bulbs I had purchased. All these are baby steps to building the butterfly garden I wrote about. I may succeed, may not, but we will see.

For now, I will while away time, eat a warm bowl of instant boodles, and sample some dark chocolate. For now, I will curl up on my sofa and let time pass by.