Direction: Anjaana; Storyline: Anjaani; That’s Bollywood for you!

Disclaimer: This is going to sound more like an I-love-Ranbir Kapoor post than a review on Anjaana Anjaani. If you want to hit me by the end of it, don’t you dare, because I warned you already.

There comes a time in everyone’s life when they want change and want to move on. There came such a time in my life too, when I got bored of the colour coordinated SRK movies that resembled a never-ending soap opera spread over different seasons. And, as if the Gods were listening to me, they sent into Bollywood a fine actor. A real actor.

*Drumroll*

*Enter Ranbir Kapoor*

I’m sure I’m one of those few people who liked Saawariya. At this point I’d like to clarify that I did not run to a theatre to catch it, but I saw it on the idiot box. (After which, I wished I had run to a theatre.) In my opinion, Saawariya was poetry on celluloid. And with Saawariya was born an actor. An actor (that the Gods had sent) who is worthy of being a HUGE star one day and deservingly so. (I TOTALLY love people who are brilliant at what they do. More on that in a different post.) May gold, glory and grandeur come to Ranbir Kapoor. Amen.

Thereafter, I’ve seen every Ranbir Kapoor movie. And not out of compulsion or obsession or out of a screaming-when-he-comes-on-screen way. I saw them, well, because I do see Hindi movies. After a few movies, I joined the bandwagon of those fans who will watch a Ranbir Kapoor movie out of compulsion or obsession or out of a screaming-when-he-comes-on-screen way! Again, I’d like to add, this is not because he has a chiseled torso or because he is a clown when he wants to be, but because he is a very very good actor. (By now, you’ve got the drift that if I could date Ranbir Kapoor I would, so I’ll shut up.)

Come 1^st October and I wanted to see Anjaana Anjaani for, well, ahem ahem…yes, Ranbir Kapoor! And, was I impressed, entertained, did I cry, did I laugh?

Well, sample this:

Boy meets girl on a bridge – they try to commit suicide – they fail – they try again, together – they fail – they postpone their plans of committing suicide (as if it’s some pyjama party) – they fall in love during the waiting period (I could have never guessed it!) – they go apart (time for the tear jerking Mohit Chauhan number, which, I MUST add, the director ripped apart) – they come back together (as tear jerking as the reasons for committing suicide) – they cancel their plan of committing suicide.

How touching!

How lovely!

I cried.

I almost did.

Because they wasted a talent like Ranbir Kapoor to show how storyline-deprived Bollywood is. To prove how we can go forth and simply blow to smithereens a wonderful soundtrack. To show that Ranbir Kapoor can stand out in an absolutely trash movie (We already know that!) And how we add greenbacks to America’s economy.

I wonder, why we can’t come up with better stories to narrate? I mean, if Hollywood can make a FULL movie based on a man’s relationship with his dog in Marley and Me (Can you imagine us making a good movie on that? NEVER!) and they can make a movie on how a man struggles to get a steady job in The Pursuit of Happyness (which we will NEVER be able to do) what happened to us? Note the main crux of the two movies: a man and his dog; and a man and the SAME routine everyday and how he deals with it. That’s the simplest you can get. SIMPLE. It makes me ask, don’t we have a story to tell? Really now! In a nation of  one billion people don’t we have anyone who will narrate to us a story without the usual riff-raff that we see?

Erm… you can see disappointment oozing through me, mostly because they picked the finest actor in young Bollywood and made an Anjaana Anjaani. Tch. Tch. Tch. Well, in short, it certainly isn’t a movie you should waste your time, money and popcorn on; and certainly one I shouldn’t waste my words on!

Ciao!