W for Woe

When I was given the opportunity to write as a guest writer and to choose the alphabet of my choice, I knew this was a chance to prove to the world that all letters are equal. In our pseudo-egalitarian society, much importance is given to the bourgeois vowels and the snobbish S,C,M,R and other frequently recurring consonants. Poor W receives treatment similar to that given to the downtrodden X,Y and Z. I wonder why people underestimate W when it has the supreme authority to ask questions like Why, When, What, Where, etc. W is not far behind a vowel even when you spell vowel. But it seems W was born to be looked down upon. It lives with a borrowed name too. ‘Double U!’

W has the unique honour of being the first letter in great words like Woman, World, Water and even the word Word! Yet W for Witch is more popular. W has given us William Shakespeare, William Wallace, Walt Disney, Warner Brothers, Wright Brothers, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Watt, Winston Churchill, Washington and much more. But we don’t stop associating W with the World Wars. W gave us Wikileaks and Wikipedia! W is thus the primary source of information, classified or otherwise.

Wisdom! Another great human attribute! W has a role to play there. Even then W is Wicked, Wily and a Wh*** (although it is just a silent spectator in the last one). S gets Saturday and Sunday! But W gets boring midweek Wednesday. W finds itself on the wrong side of (the word) LAW. We have S for sunshine, smile, strong and sensible. But we have W for wither and weak.       

W is WooHoo and Whoopee (not Whoopi Goldberg)! W is also WTF! W is something as good an invention as a Wheel. But W is also as scary as Wife and Windows Vista! There’s even something called George ‘W.’ Bush which changed the world’s attitude towards leadership. For the health conscious, W stands for the fear of Weight and Waistline. W has no place in restaurants, bistros and cafes because W belongs to washrooms. W gave us the Westminster Parliamentary system but W also gave us the Well of the Lok Sabha a.k.a. the mosh pit of Indian democracy.  W is white! W is wine! But W is Wacky too! W is Wimbledon! Yet W is Worthless! 

The woeful life of W has its few moments of glory. But it spends most of its life fighting over custody of words with V. W may not be the most Wanted letter. W may be Weird to hang out with. W may be Waspish. But the party doesn’t get Wild without W!

– Written by Guest Writer: Hardik Kothare as a run-up to my 2nd Blogoversary.