Untold

I don’t know if living is a lot of awesomeness punctuated by deep misery or if it is a lot of struggle sprinkled with much needed respite. As one grows older, it’s hard to tell the difference. Who you once thought were your friends you’d grow old with and have your kids play with theirs, you can’t recognize anymore. Who you once thought were your heroes in times of crisis can’t take it anymore than you can. Who you once thought were buds who would blossom and bloom to make the world a prettier place don’t show up in summer time at all. I don’t know if growing up means leveling up, but it sure does take away your elasticity. Your patience grows shorter and your faith becomes sparse. You’re more realistic than hopeful, and you surely have cash stashed away in places for that rainy day which is sure to come. What you’re not sure is if the bright summer day is in the offing. You prepare well for disaster. You don’t stock for a celebration.

And then, there is disappointment. At how the job turned out to not be. At how they didn’t call on your birthday. At how the songs aren’t melodious and meaningful anymore. At how your kids are not what you wanted them to be. At how your life is not what you pictured it to be. But then, sometimes it is. Rarely, of course. Sometimes, it is exactly what you wanted it to be. And maybe, that’s the ‘awesome’ life is about. Except that, we weren’t told so.