All of Me

Day (n – 11) 

A Moment of Immense Joy; 3:19 pm
Receives a set of books from a dear friend. 97 books from 97 different countries. Feels cared for. Feels like someone is listening.

Day (n – 10)

Map Hunting; 11:45 am
Scours the Internet for a good world map to start the book reading spree. Settles for something that works decently on a black and white printer. Prints one on a yellow paper. It looks terrible.

Brain Wrestling; 7:03 pm
Contemplates the meaninglessness of everything. Scares oneself into thinking that this is it – life is all doomed, oneself is doomed. Nothing can ever amount to anything. Hates the words one has written so far. Life has no meaning.

Day (n – 8)

Irrational Ice-Cream Obsession; 4:17 pm
Eats strawberry-guava-pineapple (SGP) and bavarian chocolate ice-creams. One after the other. The waffle cone was created out of a perfect round circle.

Flawless Decision-Making, 4:43 pm
Meets a friend who is dating a Ukrainian girl. Decides to read a book from Ukraine. Looks up Ukraine on the map. It’s where one expects it to be.

Day (n – 7)

Death and the Penguin; 9:38 am
Starts reading Death and the Penguin by Andrey Kurkov. Have to read it on the phone. Kindle still with dad. Name of the penguin is Misha.

Sorting Hat; 12:28 pm
Downloads Calibre to the new laptop. Imports all 97 books to Calibre library. Feels ecstatic and grateful.

Day (n – 8)

Death and the Penguin; 9:53 am
It is snowing in Odessa. The first man in the book has died. Or so we think.

Brain Wrestling; 4:44 pm
Wonders what their problem is. Discusses with AT. Gets pissed. Calms brain. Doesn’t work. Stays pissed. Feels bad.

Day (n – 5)

Words; 1:19 pm
Drowns in self-doubt. The words written are not good enough. Maybe I must quit. Maybe I must try again. Maybe brain should shut up. Maybe a miracle should happen. Tells self will try again the next day.

Alright Then; 3:23 pm
Decides to finally give in and watch Breaking Bad. Braces self for all the hours that shall be spent in consuming content.

Day (n – 4)

Finally; 3:08 pm
Watches 5 episodes of Breaking Bad, Season 2. Tries to shoo away the feeling of having wasted many hours of the day. Finds oneself curious to know what happened next.

Japanese Poetry Search: 8:24 pm
Scours the Internet for a Japanese symbol that might go well with a poem by a seventh-century Japanese poet. Idea is to draw it in the journal for remembering. Cannot find one.

Color Pencil Obsession; 9:12 pm
Finds a candle sketch in Where the Sidewalk Ends by Shel Silverstein. Draws the candle in the journal. Scribbles a quote read in the book by Oprah.

Day (n – 4)

It Was All Yellow; 11:30 am
Receives a new journal with a lemon yellow color. Much excitement. Also receives an architect’s journal with precise measurements for all kinds of drawing.

Irrational Ice Cream Obsession; 1:31 pm
Eats a mix of vanilla, strawberry, and cookies and cream ice creams with a base of crushed Marie biscuit coated in condensed milk.

Critical Thinking; 4:03 pm
Conducts an informal learning class on the appreciation of different points of view. Lateral thinking questions. Interpreting poetry. Riddles. 57 minutes well spent.

Day (n – 3)

Dark Dreams; 3:02 am
Wakes up from sleep after a weird dream. Something about being lost in the jungle. Something about Sheldon picking up Tyrion Lannister from a well that is on the ceiling.

Go Exercise: 6:45 am
Forces oneself out of bed to go to Yoga class. Cannot do so. Forces again. Reminds oneself of the remorse that shall visit if one sleeps in. Drags feet to Yoga class. Yoga Sir says something about iccha shakti. Comes back in peace.

Day (n – 2)

Country and Dance; 5:28 pm
Transfers a whole lot of country and dance music to the phone. Has a particular song stuck in one’s head.

N; 7:56 pm
Talks to N. Tells her the latest. Receives advice on how to stay out of drama. Pays heed. Feels okay. Feels bad for not having one’s friends around.

Irrational Ice Cream Obsession; 8:00 pm
Tells friend to come soon; one would like to share some ice cream. Speaks some Bengali. The new Bangla teacher is much better. Revises Bengali lessons.

Flawless Decision-Making # 2; 10:04 pm
Glances at mom reading the paper. News about the earthquake in Ecuador. Decides next book will be from Ecuador. Doesn’t know for sure where Ecuador is on the map. Self’s geography sucks. Assumes the position of Ecuador. Makes a mental note to verify.

Day (n – 1)

Dark Mornings; 6:49 am
Forces oneself out of bed to go to Zumba class. Cannot do so. Forces again. Goes to class with dark thoughts with inexplicable reasons. Favourite Zumba music comes on. Reminds oneself to not give two fucks. Does not give two fucks.

P; 8:48 am
Receives a message from P. I miss her. Too. My eccentric friend. I be sad.

Death and The Penguin; 10:59 am
Finishes the Ukrainian book. Reads last line and chuckles so hard. That was some climax. Knows more things about Ukraine now than earlier. Books are uniquely transportable magic.

Brain Wrestling; 1:59 pm
Hangs up after a lot of talking. Feels hopeless. Tries to think of what N would do to fix things. Can think of nothing. Has lunch on desk alone.

Therapy; 2:27 pm
Cleans desk. Finds a stack of books in it. Again! Takes a random picture.

Stand Up Comedy; 3:48 pm
Watches a video of a stand-up comedian who was a fellow colleague at the current workplace. His picture is on our team mug which is being currently used to hold markers and pens. Hops to next Youtube video. And the next. Arrives at the solo acts of Biswas Kalyan Rath. Laughs like a maniac.

Rewire; 10:04 pm
Forces oneself to drink 0.5 litres of water to meet daily water drinking target. Fails.

Day (n)

Color Pencil Obsession; 3:00 pm
Draws a hazy picture of Oogway in my journal where he’s telling Shifu to ‘believe’. Also writes. “Promise me, you will believe.”

BKR; 4:47 pm
Watches more videos of Biswas Kalyan Rath. Might have a large crush on him.

Finishing; 10:56 pm
Writes this third person blog post in dire need to write something that’s neither a block of text nor a Sprinkled Sentiments post. Tries. Succeeds.