Difficult but a Whole Lot of Fun

The past couple of weeks have been interesting and while I have not written here, I was working on an essay that I submitted to a literary magazine, and currently, I am re-writing a poem for which I received critique. The poet who offered advice asked me “what” the poem was about, and I can’t remember much except that I wanted the poem to be about a metaphysical space where we exist, but the urgency of purpose and capitalism do not exist. Of course, the poem didn’t say that, but it was supposed to. Now I find myself re-writing it without losing the original thought.

While I was writing and editing the essay, I was so consumed by it because I was on a deadline, and because that’s how I know to write. It was a different experience because I was so deliberate with every sentence, a little different than how I write here. Here I am liberal with my sentences, I meander, and I scribble. All of which is perfectly acceptable, but the experience of writing, for me, was difficult but a whole lot of fun.

“Difficult but a whole lot of fun” is how I should be spending my time. On seeing the ease with which Internet has made “everything” possible, I have blinded myself into believing that I want what is easy and convenient. Usually, these things don’t make me happy, and I find myself wanting more (but that’s how the system is designed and therefore, it is working perfectly). But it seems that to be satiated and happy, one must do what’s difficult but a whole lot of fun. I know that saying this is very different from following it in my every day, but I am so glad for my writing community and mentors who egged me on to write again for publishing, I am deeply grateful.

In other news, I have been trying to take care of my health and my body, still reading A Gentleman in Moscow, and searching for a new activity that I might want to undertake. I’m not working as much anymore, which is a huge relief for me. My whole body seems to have collapsed in the absence of the weight. I am nursing an oncoming cold, and considering the purchase of new plants (this is a whole essay in itself). I’ve also been reading my friend’s blog Burnt Breakfast regularly and I am very happy for everything she’s writing and doing.

I am yet to post about the other books I’ve read this year, and while I am a little slow on that, I am enjoying my current read a little too much. Among other things, May was a very productive month for the self, and that’s the win I am taking.