O for Orgasms and Overkill

Well, before you scan down the lines for some saucy bits of literary erotica let me tell you now, there isn’t any.

Disappointed?

No?

Liar.

But why then you might ask is the post has “Orgasms” in the title.

The reason is obvious. Because it’s catchy and appealing to the imagination.

And as humans we are prone to give in to our basic urges and behaviours, which are then exploited by people like me to divert your attention to matters that you wouldn’t otherwise give much attention to in your daily lives.

Now before you get cheesed off and scroll down in a hissy-fit of technological indignation take a moment to think about how the other bit, “Overkill” plays into the idea of “Orgasms”.

While you’re processing that in your sub-conscious, even as you try actively to resist any request put forth by a petulant arrogance such as mine, let me apologize and explain my reasons in deceiving you.

It’s not usually the case for people to invite others, friends or simple acquaintances, to partake in such a momentous celebration such as a “Blogoversary”. And I’m glad to be among the simple few who have been, even if it has been as the result of a first come first serve kind of a deal. I’m grateful and thankful to this blogger.

As I’ve seen over the past 14 days, this exercise of celebration has incited a varied range of topics from diverse minds, each of which are insightful in their own unique way. Some people have shared their intimate thoughts and private joys with the world, few have included passed on bits of acquired wisdom and others have penned fictions and poetry. But what I found lacking was any real disclosure of insecurity or fear.

I’m a great believer in insecurity and fear. I’ve lived a considerable period of my life trying to befriend them. And being woefully rejected.

Now as your sub-conscious drives upwards the arguments conjoining Orgasms and Overkill, listen to what I’ve listened to oh-so-many-times when I’ve been faced with situations that seem to overwhelm my very being.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZ45xrtNnzk

Nice, right? Funny even. But then again, that is what they’re paid for and in any case it’s just a TV show. Where does its truth lie?

The way I hope to speak to this truth is in my own personal way. And yes it involves Orgasms and Overkill. So we’re finally there. You still with me? Good. I’m thankful you stayed.

Now to business.

What is it about us as social people that when faced with uncertainties and risks we react in extremes? Here’s a small story about two such people. A couple, if you will. A boy and a girl. Romantically involved of course (why else would they be together? Oh right! Friendship. But that’s another story.)

The boy adored the girl and she was content enough to tolerate his adoration. And in moments of weakness, even return it. Theirs was a relationship borne out of friendship and shared alienation. How no one else could really get what they were all about. Their talks, their thoughts and their insatiable desire to not be lost in the crowd of mediocrity.

Now to cut a long story short, they had sex. Okay, so a little spice, but no sauce as promised.

And things weren’t the same afterwards. The problem as you might have guessed had to do with Orgasms. They weren’t sure they had any. Or to be clear, they weren’t sure the other person had any (who am I kidding, “any?”, let’s just start with “one”.)

But they didn’t talk about it. And as the morning after dawned its ugly orange head, they started to lose theirs. Talking to their closest, most trusted friends as to what that would mean. Did they belong together? Was he not good enough? Was she not good enough? Did they perhaps do it wrong? Was doing it at all wrong? (Only the girl considered this though.)

And as the day turned to weeks things got weird. For whatever hormonal reasons, each of them felt they needed to make a stand. Let the other person know what anxieties they were feeling but being unwilling to admit them out right, they were stuck in behavioural patterns that would make a bipolar proud. You know the type, petty arguments and mountain-out-of-a-molehill sort of thing.

Now without assigning behaviour to gender (and starting a whole other debate) one of them started to become over attached and the other started alienating the other. Their inner most fears and insecurities made them react to the situation in insane ways that amounted to…yes, say it with me, overkill.

So how could it be that, such distinct, intelligent and rational people could suddenly become so dumb? Well, they’re human of course. And their humanity leads them to hurt each other. Their unwillingness to trust the other person or to be open to truth themselves. In either case, it breeds fear. And such fear divides even the best of humans.

Overkill is what we do when we don’t know what to do. We swing like a wild pendulum between extreme amplitudes of noticeable behaviour. All for the simple desire to communicate to the other person what is troubling us. It’s as the song says, we can’t sleep, over analysing and over imagining the situations, till we are left without anything or anyone to over anything with.

It might seem like an adolescent reaction sure, but in some matters we all remain adolescents regardless of age. Timid and uncertain, worried about appearance rather than substance, so sure that if we could just make others see that something special in us, that we’re too afraid to share outright everything will be okay. But this rarely ever happens.

Now should be the part I promulgate my acquired wisdom from this lesson and tell you all what you should be doing. But I won’t. What I will do is comfort you with the thought that you are not alone. And you aren’t the only one who feels this way. I am at the very least prone to the same swings of this crazy pendulum ride as you are so strap yourself in and please don’t puke on my shoes.

Well, it’s been a pleasure sharing this with you. Orgasms and overkill; a lesson from my life about how even a small good thing can drive us to destroy ourselves if we aren’t willing to share ourselves with each other.

(Geeky post-script: Those of you interested in quantifying harmonic motions and the amplitude of the pendulum as metaphor; don’t bother. Since the 2π√(l/g) formula is only good for small amplitude displacement of less than 5 degrees it wouldn’t apply in real life where we usually go off the handle. Interestingly for greater values than 5 we require some manipulations to the non-linear equations of the tangential component. What we end up with is an elliptic integral of the first kind which if further solved using a series approximation gives us only the first three terms and is anyway prone to error the higher you go. That kinda sums up the metaphor of life I guess.*)

*Disclaimer: I’m a writer by profession and math/physics is just a hobby. So don’t blame me if I lead you astray.

– Written by Guest Writer: Samir Alam as a run-up to my 2nd blogoversary.