I wonder how many times we go through moments of severe longing for something. An intense want for something to go right, someone to pull through, some day to dawn upon us, some time to come to us and someone inside us to win. I wonder how many times we have that feeling where we’re fervently, passionately hoping beyond all possible rational conception that things are going to turn out as you want them to; that everything’s going to be okay. No questions asked, no logic discussed, just pure, blind belief that makes your heart beat in the hope that what one wants will come.
It may start with getting the marks you want after working so hard; then maybe, move to hoping you’d win a competition you went for; and then maybe the will to get yourself a “good” job and finally get a degree to maybe, see your parents happy. Such longing always starts small and even before we know it, we have learned to long for “higher” things. We rise beyond the so-called mundane and “hope against hope hopen” for the universe to listen to that heart burning inside us. More often than not, I feel such intense longing and the irrational conception that we’ll have it comes from wanting virtuous things. Mostly, it comes from a heart that loves; a heart that is in its element. Growing up, and learning that there’s more to life than a cent percent result happens to all of us. Somehow, even all the machinery designed to make us into robots fails when on the way to “living”, we begin believing. We need it at every step—a small voice in our head that tells us “this is not over, what you want is yet to come”.
At such times, I find myself talking to a friend above. I find myself looking to the horizon and waiting for an answer to walk towards me. I find myself rejecting all logic and rationality and feel my little heart believing that a way will show itself, a ray will shine through and a door will open. I find myself revisited by a strong feeling which tells me that someone is listening, and that the universe is going to align itself. It is going to open up like a bud blooming into a flower; and I’ll see the flower and smile, we’ll all smile and the world will be a brighter place to be. More often than not, I’ve found myself “believing” and then seeing that I wasn’t wrong to hope. I think it is forgiving to go back to where mankind began, to the time when there were no scriptures, no messengers, no language, no inscribed prayers and no one to tell you how to feel. I find that going back to that primitive time strips you off what you got made over time and that’s when your heart takes over and tells you to believe. Because underneath it all that’s who we are. Souls that want to believe that there is more than meets the eye and that a day will come when we will have found the meaning to our lives. Beneath all that we’re taught and told, we are little creatures that need something to believe in. Coincidentally, or not, this has been very aptly put by something I heard recently:
“You see them, Mr Rango? All my friends and neighbors? It’s a hard life here. Very hard. Do you know how they make it through each and every day? They believe. They believe it’s going to be better. The believe that the water will come. They believe against all odds and all evidence that tomorrow will be better than today. People have to believe in something…” – Mayor (in Rango)
So, we form something to believe in, and at the times when our hearts are intensely longing for something to come about we find ourselves putting all of ourselves in our belief. I find myself doing that now. I’m earnestly praying a friend pulls through and comes out of the suffering that he’s going through. I am wishing, praying, hoping and pleading to the God “I” believe in to turn to me and listen to me. While I am at it, I am learning how to believe again, how to put myself into every pore of this universe and have the patience to wait and see how it conspires for me to achieve the meaning of my life.
I have learnt this from my life that minus all the frills there is only one Truth in this world and that has nothing to do with an organized religion. A Truth that transcends beyond all rituals and all showy forms of expression. And that Truth is in your heart; it is to Believe.