The word used to describe…when a person watches the day rise and the night fall not in silent paralysis, but as a matter of fact and yet not dismiss it. When someone goes through their daily routine with neither utter boredom nor overzealous attitude, but because they have been doing it and it’s something to be done. When nothing new is being created nor there is regret of the loss of time that falls through the gaps in spite of having so much of it. When one goes through the week like a needle sewing together days with neatness and equal use of thread. When one watches the world go by and not, for even a moment, feel the need to pull up one’s socks or join the race. When the heart yearns a little, but doesn’t feel agitated at not having, but is content and in place with as much as it has. When the universe zips by and no notes are taken, for one doesn’t feel the exigency.
Since I can’t find it, I try to imagine what the word would describe. I see myself standing at the porch of a white house and I am looking at someone/something leave or arrive. I don’t rush inside because I was waiting for it to leave. I don’t rush ahead to greet it or stop it. I just stay there, and watch. I just am.
And nothing flutters.
What is that word?