I’m a little overwhelmed today. So, all plans of ensuring that I write better, and dish out posts that are an extrapolation of my observations rather than an expression of them, will have to take a back seat for a little more while.
I have an Android phone now, and this is my first post from this phone. I must say that the keyboard is awful, and that my data pack got polished off faster than ice cream at Naturals. But for now, it’s too much of work to go back to my Nokia phone, so I shall stay put. When I said this to R, he said I should get an iPhone – yeah, yeah, the same frigging conversation – except this time I said I want nothing. And he said wanting nothing is a sign of depression. To this, I promptly mentioned how I bought a book from a bookstore, nonetheless. But then, I wondered if my general lack of passionate response and a wilful acceptance of everything, is indeed a sign of depression. However, I am not one to toy lightly with serious illness.
Anyhow. The overwhelming feeling comes from a realization that I think I understand why certain things have not happened as I watch them happening to others. It’s scary – to see one of your life’s possible paths playing out for someone else – and know exactly why they didn’t happen to you.
I’m not full of gratitude or anything. That may come later. However, some days I get the feeling that it’s time to proactively go somewhere and do something that my heart is telling me.
It’s just that it’s a shame I can’t hear it over the din.