These days, when I drive by myself, and shuffle play music from my teenage years, songs that I have not heard in ages fill the airwaves. Dido, Michelle Branch, Shania Twain, Anna Nalick, Avril Lavigne, Hilary Duff all those great women serenade me. And when the songs come on, from the recesses of my own mind, come the lyrics. I sing along every word, every note, and this resurfacing of an old block of poetry from the subterranean layers of my mind fills me with sunshine and daisies. When Shania Twain sings I’m Gonna Getcha Good, but I have not heard it in over 15 years, and I can sing the entire song word for word and note for note, a yellow-buttery joy fills my whole body and mind. It is glorious!
Even in the gym, I put on earbuds and listen to my own music these days. I’m tired of listening to the same Punjabi music playing softly in the background. After many changes in trainers, and an inconsistent workout rhythm, I have finally made peace with my solo training, which, I enjoy quite a bit. I like the familiarity of the space, the small social conversations with my gym buddies, and know-how of the strength training routine. I have come to accept my gym as a space where I can focus on my body and belong to a different kind of social gathering other than the usual workplace-and-home routine I have got going on. I know a little bit about the people I meet there. I catch up with the ongoings in their lives. I push against my weights, and they push against me. I sweat, tire, fear, encourage, and enjoy my exercise. The weeks, seasons, and festivals all roll by, as I show up day after day to take care of my body, which takes me through life.
On the weekend, I attend photography classes at a local college, and I have noticed that we students have started to warm up a little. We are now experimenting with the camera and open to sharing our inexperienced shots with each other. Every Sunday, I attend the classes in a formal classroom + photo studio setting over a period of 4 hours. In the first half, our professor teaches us the theoretical concepts of camera and light; be they about the aperture, shutter, or ISO or about motion, texture, and reflections. During the second half, in a dark photo studio, we practice what we’ve learned on props that are illuminated with a single source of light.
After the session, when I emerge from semi-darkness into a mellowed Sunday light and walk across this Jesuist structure towards my car which is parked under the shade of trees, I experience a feeling of being at peace with the world. The quietness of the large college, the napping trees on the road, and the almost-deserted city open up my heart and fill it with a marigold light. And once again, I get into my car, and drive home in silence feeling a candy-flavoured joy.
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