It’s complicated!

When you are younger, you would never even imagine how entangled life can be. At least, when I was younger I never even gave it as much as a thought. I was always of the opinion that, life is simple. A small part of me still holds that opinion, while the larger part of me is entangled in a lot of high level talk that has messed up with my mind and is forcing me to reconsider my opinion.

One of those lines that I’ve heard by the dozen in some time now is, ‘This is reality’. Honestly, I don’t even know what that line means. What the hell is reality? (I’m trying too hard not to swear!) Whenever, I’ve encountered a situation that has me utterly perplexed because, my simplistic notion of life doesn’t conform to the said situation, I am attacked by this very statement. So, is it that reality is harsh and I’m living in the clouds? Or is it that, people just love to complicate a situation and then just get off the train by saying, ‘This is reality’. I have absolutely no idea, what someone tries to get across to me when they say that line.

Another ‘reality’ that I have faced has been called a ‘complicated friendship’. (I think that term should be officially classified as an oxymoron.) Why do simple relationships have to be suffocated, I wonder? And it’s not just one; I’ve got many ‘complicated friendships’ at the same time. (Lucky me!) So it makes me think (aloud loud) how did such a thing come into being? As far as my notion of a simple life took me, it always went into a street that told me, friendships were the most beautiful relationships that melted every complicated thing in the whole wide world! But this kind of occurrence is another ‘reality’ for me. And here I am, wondering, how relationships that I’ve held for over a decade have started to grow tough! It was always so simple and so beautiful. And again, I get the line, ‘This is reality’. (By now, I’m beginning to get sick of these lines.) My simplistic vision of life has always made me feel that every problem can be sorted by talking about it. Talking uninhibitedly, that is. But, sometimes it does not work.

Though, the so-called complicated version of life has me befuddled, my simpler version visits me sometimes to tell me that she is still around. That is when, I pick my spirits up and start walking freely again. Sometimes it visits me in the form of a loving friend who makes me smile by just talking to me. Sometimes, it is in the form of my mother who gives me a high-five. Sometimes, it is in the form of the beginning of a new relationship that gives me the hope, that it’s not all as complicated as I am told it is. And some other times, when I see masks removed and guards dropped by people who are otherwise intimidating, but in reality, (yes, this is the real ‘reality’) they are just simple people waiting to get home to a simpler version of the life that they wish to live.

This is when, my doubts melt away and I hold on to my beliefs tighter than before. I know that, at the end of the day, all of us crave to be free of chains and free of wearing masks. All of us long for a simple life, but again, I wonder how all of it gets so entangled? The other day, an old friend remarked (Verbatim), “u know to find bliss evn in d most morbid of states now, don’t you” and I said, ‘Whoa, I am really happy re.’ If life is ‘really’ complicated then honestly, I don’t want to see it. I’d rather live with my fairy-tale version of the simple life that I’ve always held than tell myself, “It’s complicated.”

P.S.: It may sound confused, but that is because, I am.