Disclaimer: This is not going to sound like an optimist’s view. It may sound like a pessimist’s view. I’m not sure though! But, don’t read through thinking that it’s a goody goody theory of getting over something/someone. Also, this is not applicable for extreme setbacks like death/natural calamities. It’s just about getting over the everyday, mundane and insignificant things in your life. (Yes, ex-es included!)
I’m sure all of us have those times in our lives when we just want to stop thinking/fretting/mulling/whining/contemplating/chewing our pencils over something or someone. Those times when you wish your mind would be at ease and just forget that something ever pricked us. Or someone ever hurt us. Or some event ever annoyed us. I used to have a lot of these moments; when I came across a person who was unruffled by anything that happened to him/her (Don’t want to disclose whether it’s a guy or a girl.) So, I got to know this person and observation of this person has taught me one of the most useful things in life – getting over anything! Now, I also want to add that I don’t want to sound like I’m defaming the person, because I’m not!
It was so easy for Plato; let’s call him/her so for convenience’s sake (short for the word ‘Platonic’) to get over anything. Like Plato was immune to hurt. Nothing ever annoyed Plato. Plato didn’t give a damn if you phoned Plato or not. Plato gave a hoot if the traffic was bad. Plato gave a rat’s a** if their girl/boy friend said, “I won’t call you back.” In short, Plato didn’t care! (Hang on to the word ‘care’ ‘cos that’s our point of reference). It wasn’t that Plato was a robot (it is real person and I know that person, if you remember). All Plato cared was about – Plato. As long as Plato was getting what she wanted; (Ok I’m going to stick to ‘she’ ‘cos the gender is getting a bit irritating) she was content. Plato wanted to talk to her friends she would. Plato would want to do well in her class, she would. Plato wanted to hold on to her inner circle of people that she needed in her life, she would. The rest of the world be damned! Plato taught me one of those things, that I’m sure she has no idea she taught me! The word is opposite of the word ‘care’ – our point of reference. Plato taught me indifference!
Plato taught me that the more you care, the harder it is to get over something. So, basically all you need to do is, shower as much indifference to something/someone that it becomes very easy for you to get over something/someone. Plato was adept at doing this. Whenever she wanted something out of her life, she was indifferent to the very existence of that thing. If Plato wanted to be cross with me, she was indifferent to the fact that I existed in the same room as she. If Plato wanted to forget something that someone said, she directed all her energy in believing that nothing of that sort ever happened. If Plato wanted to forget her ex, she behaved like he never existed.
So, I observed Plato for a while and adopted this indifference to some mundane things in my life. (I twisted her treatment of indifference a little bit.) So, when the traffic is getting on to my nerves, I am indifferent to it; I dig my nose in my book and pretend it doesn’t exist. If someone is giving me some sentimental crap that I know I don’t deserve, I am indifferent to it; I pretend I didn’t hear it. If I see someone is trying to step on my shoes, I am indifferent to it; and I pretend I don’t see it. If I’m restless about something, I am indifferent to it and I tell myself I hardly care! (And, after sometime, I really don’t care.)
I use this dose of indifference towards most things that I wish didn’t exist. And after a point of time, they slip away like unwelcome guests. It works most of the time because there comes a phase when you know the people and things in your life that you really need to care about and those you don’t.
So, the bottom-line is: when you need to get-over something, trick yourself in to being indifferent towards it. Just tell yourself: I bloody hell don’t care!