So, after my admission of sadness yesterday, I went home. I did not know what to do with my time in the bus. I just sat still, and looked out of the window. I was phone-less, music-player-less, book-less, so I just sat and stared outside. And I pondered over my situation. I missed a friend I used to be in touch with. I went over the compliments I had received for my work that day. I thought of how I would look back at yesterday 5 years from now. I asked myself, would it matter? Then, I looked at my past, and asked myself if those things mattered today. I got pushed around in the crowd at the station. I walked into nothingness. And after that I don’t really remember much till I got back to work today.
I had some time at work today, so I went around reading a couple of blogs. I like WordPress’ global dashboard; it is interesting to read about life and peppermint from the perspectives of strangers. I don’t know their names or faces before I read anything. I go around like a bull in a China shop, attacking everything I can find. And if I like anything I read, I go and poke around to find out more about them. I still have some time at work, so I’m writing this post. Moreover, I am writing this post because I read somethings that I relate to. It’s uncanny how you find things that you can relate to when you are idle. It’s rather strange that I had to stumble upon the following one after another.
A post on how someone thinks of getting just one thing right. It rings a bell, and it made me go look for a story written by Tolkein. This is a fine post. It tugged my heart, in a sad way.
A post on how someone felt inadequate to write anything at all. Like I do these days.
A book discussion on one of my favourite books—The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett. This book, for me, is a lesson on how one should never give up on their dreams and that children can see no limits in life. Unfortunately, I can’t read the comments for the discussion on the book as they are closed, but I read something that I could relate to so well. A quote from the book, on the post, said, “If I could only just remember that always. The worst thing never QUITE comes.” by Mary Lennox – The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett.
A post on 25 things do to before you are 25. This does sound like one of those common posts that people write for fun, and read for fun! I read it to kill time. However, I read point 21 and smiled a shy smile. It said: “Start a blog about your life and update it regularly. Sure it seems self-centered now, but you’ll be grateful ten years from now when you can reflect on your life when you were really living it up.” And I am glad I blog at all, even if it is intermittent.
Then, I read a post on the same blog which took me to this video. Though, I do remember seeing it long ago, I saw it anyway.
Yes, it does say a lot of heart-warming things. But tell you what, when a day gets depressing by the minute, it really doesn’t matter what anyone says to you. I’ve written this post over a period of 3 hours, I think, with a lot of breaks in between to attend to the mess that’s falling apart! And I can’t help, but wryly smile. Wow! It’s bizzare how life can suck so much and how it can begin to get worse just when you don’t want it.
For now, I’ll just leave this place and go back into the nothingness that surrounds me in the hope that when I read this post in happier times, it will be a proof of the claim that “Time changes everything.”
– Sameen
P.S: I shall write Part 2 when “time will have changed everything.”
amarllyis 