A Day in the Life of a Consultant at a Purposeless Client Location

  1. Arrive late.
  2. Drink coffee/green tea/tea to console yourself.
  3. Respond to 3.5 emails and then get called for a meeting.
  4. Come out of meeting with a new purpose for the day.
  5. Make a new plan in MS Excel to achieve purpose.
  6. Scrounge for lunch while making plan.
  7. Get called into another meeting while having lunch.
  8. Excuse yourself. Curse caller (Only after having left lunch 97 times before this to attend such meetings).
  9. Get yourself another coffee. Because only coffee will do.
  10. Enter meeting with coffee in hand (to look important).
  11. Accept new agenda without controversy.
  12. Call your team to communicate new purpose.
  13. Write 4.5 e-mails. Get called on the phone.
  14. Watch the Internet fail, die, in purgatory; in that order.
  15. Take a break for a walk.
  16. Crib.
  17. Never smoke. It’s uncool. Only drink coffee.
  18. Book a cab.
  19. Listen to rubbish Hindi film songs on your way back.
  20. Briefly ponder about meaning of life.
  21. Get distracted by a list of things money can buy.
  22. Sleep.
  23. Wake up from sleep realising Excel file was not saved.
  24. Realise plan is not needed.
  25. Sleep.
  26. Wake up.
  27. Wear best clothes.
  28. Repeat.

3 thoughts on “A Day in the Life of a Consultant at a Purposeless Client Location

Add yours

    1. These days? of course they are. There’s a song about a girl’s birthday bash who goes to goa and smokes hash. I mean, really?

      Like

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